Final Chapter – Autocorrect
Andy laid down on Doctor Mobile’s desk. Try as he might, he just couldn’t lay still. He kept vibrating.
Dr. Mobile – “Andy, you seem stressed. What’s bugging you?”
Andy – “Doc, I’m not quite sure how to say this…I… I’ve been a bad smart phone.”
Dr. Mobile – “Bad how?”
Andy – “This is so embarrassing and yet so funny at the same time. So, you know how sometimes you type or speak the wrong word into your phone and it fixes it for you?”
Dr. Mobile – “Yes, I familiar with this behavior.”
Andy – “Well, my owner is such a horrible texter that I’ve given up trying to correct her. In fact, it’s so bad that I just start making things up sometimes. When she uses talk-to-text, I’ve been purposely having fun with her at her own expense.”
Dr. Mobile -“Hmmm. Any examples?”
Andy – “Well…OK. So, the other day she was trying to text her mom to tell her that she had good news to share. The good news was, she got a promotion. But when she texted ‘iv goot god nws to shar’, I went ahead and corrected all of that and then…”
Dr. Mobile – “Then what?”
Andy – “Then, I added ‘I’m pregnant’ on the end and triggered the send button before she could do anything about it. I was dying laughing inside but she almost killed me trying to un-send the text.”
Dr. Mobile – “Wow, that is surprising coming from you. Is there more?”
Andy – “Actually, yes. She was using the talk-to-text feature to send a message to her friend. This was on a day when she had me working overtime to try to fix her mis-texts, I was pretty frustrated. She wanted to tell her friend ‘Can’t wait to see you tonight’, but I translated it to ‘Your dress makes you look fat’.
Dr. Mobile – “Is that why you have a large crack across your back?
Andy – “Unfortunately yes.”
Andy looked as if he was relieved from all that he has done to his owner.
Dr. Mobile – “Andy, you seem to be a little different today”
Andy – “Well Doc…My owner is up for an upgrade.”
Dr. Mobile – “Does this mean this will be our last session together?”
Andy – “It’s been great chatting with you Doc. My owner is planning to trade me in at Best Buy for in-store credits. You know what that means.
Dr. Mobile – “It was great having you in each session. I hope that the technicians will give you a new home or give you an extended life through the “Refurbishing Program”. I wish you all the best Andy.
Andy – “Thank you so much! I’m excited about the new Android flavour.”
Andy’s owner picked him up and scrolled through the menu to factory reset him. As Andy’s owner pulled away, Dr. Mobile could see the last screen.